The Feminine Has Become Jacob, And She Is Tired.

Hello Beautiful Souls!

We are all familiar and know the story of Jacob and how he worked hard for fourteen years for love. Fourteen years of sweat, faithfulness and longing. He didn't count the cost because he counted Rachel as worthy for his love.

The waiting was the proof. The work was the worship.

If you are triggered by how the dating and relationship era is now, good. Anger is just sadness that still has a pulse.

Jacob saw a woman named Rachel and he fell in love with her. He didn't send a text. He didn't swipe right. He didn't wait for her to prove her worth with a spreadsheet of her assets and a five-year plan.

He worked hard. Seven years. Sweat on his brow. Dust in his lungs. Nights where his body and his heart ached for her with longing and hope. And when he was tricked and woke up with Leah instead of Rachel - he didn't walk out. He didn't say "You're too much work" or "I deserve better". He did seven more.

Fourteen years. For love. For a woman. For the scandal of choosing someone and staying.

That was the old world. Men bled first. Men proved. Men pursued until their knees gave out.

Now ?

Now we are living inside the prophet Isaiah's nightmare (Isaiah 4:1). He saw a day coming - a sad day, a shameful day - when seven women would grab hold of one man. Not for love. For survival.

Listen to their words, because they are our words now: " We will clothe ourselves. We'll build the house, pay the bills, carry the emotional weight, initiate the lovemaking, plan the dates, heal our own wounds, and apologize for wanting more. Just give us your name. Just marry us so we aren't humiliated anymore. Just stand there while we do the work of two people. Only let us be called by your name".

Do you hear it? The desperation dressed up as independence. "We'll do everything. We'll provide....."

That was written as a picture of desolation - a time when war had destroyed men, and women begged for the covering of a name just to escape shame.

But we've reinvented that desolation as a lifestyle.

That is not partnership. That is a hostage situation where the hostage is begging to stay.

And the men? Where are the men?

Today, men don't labor. They choose. They swipe.

They are sitting in the chair that used to belong to the feminine. Waiting. Choosing. Withholding.

Saying things like "what do you bring to the table?" as if she hasn't been bringing the whole damn feast for years. They wait for women to prove their worth - to bring resources, stability, emotional labor, and initiation to the table. They want the name without the labor. The wedding without the wilderness. The woman without the work.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not saying women are innocent angels. We have learned to play this game too - settling for breadwinner energy, calling it "empowerment" when we really just gave up on ever being pursued. Women are told: You don't need a man to provide. You're the provider now. You don't need him to pursue. You pursue. You pay. You plan. You propose.

We have become Jacob. And we are exhausted.

And in exchange? He gives you his name - sometimes. He gives you the status of being "taken". He removes your cultural disgrace of being single past a certain age or childless or alone.

But he doesn't labor.

He doesn't bleed for you.

He doesn't wake up at 3 a.m. wondering how to win your heart again.

He shows up. He says "I do". And then he waits for you to bring him your bread and your clothes - your salary, your therapy, your effort, your chase.

But this is the sad reality of this era: Men used to move mountains for love. Now they won't move a finger unless the mountain moves first. And women are so afraid of the shame of being alone, of being the one who "couldn't keep a man", that we grab hold of anyone with a pulse and a last name and say "here, take my bread, take my body, take my soul - just don't leave me with this reproach".

We've normalized a role reversal that isn't partnership - it's abandonment. Women have become Jacob, working seven years, seven more, while men have become... the prize.

And everyone calls it progress.

But progress shouldn't feel like a woman begging for a man to simply stay, while she builds the entire world around him.

Jacob labored for love. Now women labor without it - just to borrow a name that removes the shame.

That is not the Kingdom. That is the curse, repackaged.

That is not love. That is a funeral dressed in white.

And until we admit that something has gone very, very wrong - until men learn to labor again and women learn to stop begging for scraps - we will keep holding onto seven women and one passive man, calling it marriage and wondering why we feel so dead inside.

So, I'll ask you, beautiful souls - because your voice matters here.....

Do you see this happening around you? Have you lived it? Have you been the woman grabbing hold, or the man who forgot how to labor? Or are you somewhere in between, just trying to figure out what love is supposed to look like now?

Tell me. The comments are yours. Let's be raw together.

Love always,

Sarina xx