The Clock, The Pressure, The Purse: What No One Tells You About Being a Woman Today

Hello Beautiful Souls,

Today, I want to share what has been weighing on my mind lately.

To everyone (who is still single), myself included - I’m sure, we all feel this weight of expectations. From society, from family, from well-meaning elders who look at you and ask the same questions: When will you settle down? When will you get married? When will you have children?

I finally replied one day: it’s not as easy as you think it is.

I didn't say this to be dismissive. I said it because the world they built their lives in - 40 years ago - is not the world we live in today. And pretending it is, helps no one.

Then vs. Now: A Different World

Back then, things were different. Simpler, in a lot of ways. Buying or building a house? It was doable. Today, something as basic as a one- or two-bedroom apartment is climbing to a million or more. Salary benchmarks have barely moved, but inflation ? Inflation has been running a marathon while we’re still tying our shoelaces. (lol)

And it’s not just housing. Everyday there seems to be a new tax law for this and that. The cost of just existing has gone up, while the structure of life has gotten more demanding.

The Exhaustion Is Real

Let’s talk about time - or the lack of it. The hours in the day, the days in the week… it’s draining . By the time I’m done with work and home chores, there’s no energy left. Not for a social life. Not for hobbies. Certainly, do not have the kind of “fun ” people think I am having or used to have.

And fun ? It costs money. Yes, you can walk, read a book, find free things to do. I’m not being pessimistic - I genuinely appreciate the small joys. But let’s be realistic. For me to go out and see friends, I’m looking at a taxi there, a meal or activity, a taxi back. Depending on the company, the food or the activity isn’t always what you hoped. Even going to a friend’s house comes with unspoken costs - you can’t show up empty-handed and hosts feel pressure to serve. It all adds up.

I don’t say this to sound bitter about money. I say it because money these days simply doesn’t stay in my purse.

The Marriage Myth: Two Incomes, Still Treading Water

People assume that if you’re married, it’s easier . One household, two incomes - problem solved, right ? Not exactly.

Even with two working parents or couple, the reality is often long hours, different shifts and barely keeping afloat. You’re not living - you’re managing . You’re coordinating schedules just to make sure the bills are paid and the house doesn’t fall apart. The idea of “settling down” starts to feel like just another layer of responsibility, not the stability it was once sold as.

The Side Income Dilemma

I strongly believe in having a second or even third source of income. The world is too unpredictable to rely on just one. But here’s where my situation gets complicated.

Where I am right now, between the hours I work and the home chores that never end, the location itself doesn’t encourage side businesses - in fact, it’s made it illegal for someone like me. You’re allowed one government-recognized job and that’s it. A home-based business ? A side hustle ? Not for the likes of me.

So I’m left with a choice: take a chance on something from scratch or stick with my 9-to-5. Both are risky. The 9-to-5 will sing “we’re family, you’re part owner” one day and the next day say, “we’re a company, it’s purely transactional - don’t take it personally”. And the side business ? That means starting from zero, building momentum, finding customers, chasing recurring sales, all while exhausted.

Neither path feels safe . Neither feels like a guarantee .

If It’s Not Too Late.....

So if you’re reading this and you still have the flexibility, let me say this: try to build a side income. I know it’s hard. I know you’re tired. But do it before you feel trapped. Build a cushion. Build a net. The world is unpredictable, and the systems we were told would take care of us? They’re not showing up the way we hoped.

Because sometimes it feels like the powers that be have failed us. Kept us in a never-ending loop: work, overwork, exhaustion, depression. Rinse and repeat. And then have the nerve to ask why we haven’t “settled down” yet.

We’re trying. We’re just trying to survive a game where the rules changed before we even got our turn.

Let's Talk About It

I didn't write this to complain. I wrote this because I know I can't be the only one feeling this way. And honestly ? I'm tired of feeling like I'm navigating this alone while everyone around me pretends the old rules still apply.

So, here's where I need you.

If you've figured something out - a side hustle that actually works around a draining job, a creative way to save or invest, or even just a mindset shift that helped you stop feeling like you're drowning - share it in the comments. Drop your ideas, your experiments, your failures, your wins. Let's build a list of possibilities for those of us who feel stuck.

If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Not to spread frustration, but to remind each other that we're not crazy for feeling this way. The game changed. We're just trying to learn the new rules together.

Drop your thoughts below. I'll be reading every single one.

Love Always,

Sarina xx